Rather be Me

After Aiden was born we were admitted back to the hospital for his jaundice. At that time, and being my first born, it was scary and traumatizing for me even as normal as it is said to be. But this time it was me going back. Still pretty scary for us, and horribly emotional for me, but I'm very thankful it was me and that Caylee was healthy and at home. This week has been a roller coaster and it started Saturday night. I was sitting in the chair with Caylee when all of a sudden I felt my chest get really tight and it was really hard for me to breathe. I thought maybe I was having some sort of anxiety attack just with everything going on and I just dealt with it. It made it hard to sleep and I woke up on Sunday crying because it felt as if someone was sitting on my chest or I was being choked. The feeling scared me. I still was just going to hope that it passed until the hospital made their courtesy call on Sunday evening to see how I was doing. I told them about the symptoms and that's when the snowball started to roll. The nurse expressed concern that it may be a blood clot and that I should go in to be seen. I instantly became scared and couldn't believe I was heading to the hospital with a brand new baby at home. Once I got to the ER, things went from bad to worse. They take a chest x-ray, take blood, and get me in for a CT scan. The CT scan was to check for a blood clot...that came back A-OK, however when they shot the contrast into the IV they noticed it kind of blocked up when it was going through my heart. This started the talk of heart failure (seriously?!) and that's when they told me I was going to be admitted because I needed to have an echo of my heart to check for cardiomyopathy. It was unreal that it was all happening and I couldn't believe that I was going to be calling my husband to tell him that I was not coming home. I felt like I was abandoning my family at possibly one of the worst times ever and the feeling was terrible. The next morning the echo showed that the chambers of my heart were fine (no cardiomyopathy) but that the heart showed to have had stress from too much fluid and my blood pressure was too high. This lead to ANOTHER night in the hospital to watch me for late onset pre-eclampsia. After putting me on BP meds and another 24 hours of hospital fun I wasn't severe enough to be diagnosed with preeclampsia so I was released on Tuesday with a diagnosis of pregnancy induced hypertension. I was so thankful to be going home and yet the fun didn't stop there. Once home, the medication that they put me on gave me horrible side effects so I wasn't even myself and then I continued to have a neck pain that was making a headache so bad that I couldn't sleep. I couldn't catch a break! So today I went to my regular doctor pleading for her help. I now have changed BP meds and feel like myself again and got meds to help this neck sprain I apparently have as well. What a week! Thank God I'm home and on the road to recovery. I'm so thankful for my amazing family. Jason held down the fort for 48 hours with a 4 year and newborn and my sister was with me throughout those days at the hospital making sure I was asking the right questions and knew what was going on. She was even there to drive me home. I'm so lucky. I'm glad to be home with my 2 crazy boys and sweet baby girl...